It Really IS Science!

I tend to think that the important things in life are fairly simple--which is why one of my favorite sayings is, "It's not rocket science!"

As it turns out, though, even the simple things--those things that we think are simply obvious--may be a bit more complex than we ever realized, and are increasingly becoming scientifically verifiable.

Take, for example, the idea that paying someone a compliment will increase their sense of well-being, value and self-esteem, and putting someone down or criticizing them will reduce their overall productivity and could even send them for a loop.  Simple, right?  Well, modern brain science now shows us that certain chemicals are released in the brain when someone receives a compliment.  Those chemicals stimulate the part of the brain that controls complex thought and productivity.  On the flip side, if someone is criticized, it can release a chemical in the brain that shuts down productivity and sends the person into "self-protect" mode.

And guess what!  The chemical that's released when we hear a compliment is only effective for a short time--maybe an hour or so--while the one that is released when we hear criticism can last for days!

So my dad was right: "One 'aw-%$#@' really does cancel ten 'attaboys'."  The science backs it up!  And now the question for us is simply this:  If we know we can increase well-being and productivity by being positive rather than putting others down and being critical, will we choose to share a positive word?

That choice seems rather simple to me.

"A kind word turns away wrath."

So glad if you enjoy reading these, and hope you'll feel free to share them with others.  Visit the blog, www.realacorns.blogspot.com for previous posts.  Thanks for reading!  -Steve

Just say "No"

Seems to me we live in a culture of "yes."  Everywhere I turn, people tell me exactly what they think I want to hear, mostly so that I'll do exactly what they want--buy, buy, buy.

But I'm not buying it.  In fact, what I'm doing is remembering words from long ago: that's it's better to say "no" and then do what's right than it is to say "yes" and do nothing.   It's better to be honest about our indifference or resistance but then act with compassion than it is to pretend we care and let the world go on suffering.

Because, in the end, if I only SAY what is right and don't do it, my words are empty and meaningless.  But if I DO what is right, right will be done--no matter what I say.

"Let your 'yes' be yes and your 'no' be no."

Keep Your Eye on the Birdie...

The other morning the cats were a little more animated than usual.  When I went to investigate I discovered that they had found a new plaything: a baby sparrow.

I had mixed feelings.

Being the sentimental type, I felt badly for the baby bird.  On the other hand, the kitties were having a ball.  What to do?  I decided on a compromise, and scooped up the little sparrow and took it outside.  I figured it would have one more chance to get away--and my kitchen might stay free of the fur and feathers.

Turns out it was too late.  By the time I left for work, well, I won't trouble you with the gory details....

But it all left me thinking.  If God's eye was really on the sparrow, as the old song goes, what kind of day was I about to have?  Is that the kind of protection I could expect?  

And what about the cats?  Was it simply their day?  Was God's eye, God's favor on them that day, rather than on the sparrow?  

The problem with reducing the fullness of our experience to cliches is that the cliches never really do more than reduce the fullness of our experience.  Trying to capture the mystery and magnitude of creation in a catch phrase is like trying to pour the Pacific into a pail.  It may be wet and salty, but it's no ocean.

So the next time I find myself trying to sum up the complexities of life in a sentence or two, I think take a step back and live in the mystery for a while before trying to explain it away.  

Consider the lilies...they neither toil nor do they sow.

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Happy Independence Day to all!  -Steve

Tick Tock...

You know, I'm getting tired of hearing myself say it:  

"Wow, that went fast!", and;

"It's July already?", and; 

"Seems like 2014 just started, and here it is half over!"

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get used to the swift passage of time.  But one thing I do know: my statements noting how quickly time flies are all tinged with a bit of fear.  You know it too: the fear that it will all soon be over...and then what?

Yet lately I find myself growing more comfortable with the idea that it's somehow meant to be this way, and that if the passage of time seemed to slow as we age (rather than speed up), it all might become a bit of a bore.  Besides which, even if it is only an illusion, the ever advancing speed of time's passage is a regular reminder to be grateful for each day, each hour, each minute--to see each moment as a gift to be enjoyed rather than endured, each new day an opportunity to experience the fullness of life.  Life is not a race to the end.  Life is a journey.

So as hard to believe as it may be, to all I wish a very happy Independence Day!  Remember that none of us gets through this life on our own.  Spend a little of your precious time in gratitude--every day is a gift. 

Speaking of which, I'd better get shopping.  It'll be Christmas before you know it!

Time, like an ever rolling stream, 
	bears all who breathe away; 
	they fly forgotten, as a dream 
	dies at the opening day.

The "F" Word

It's that dirty little F-word that compels us to do things we wouldn't dream of doing were we in our right minds...that dirty little F-word that makes us turn on people we love and scream at strangers, run from our responsibilities, hide in closets, hoard our possessions, lock our doors to keep out strangers, and generally behave badly.  It's that dirty little F-word that makes our stomachs churn and keeps us up at night.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt said we've nothing but this dirty little F-word to fear, and he was right, of course.

These days Science is telling us a lot about this dirty little F-word; that it's been a part of our survival tool box for a long, long time, that without it we would likely die out as a species, that the part of our brains that reacts to perceived threats--the so-called "reptilian" brain continues to be an important part of our personal survival...and who would argue.  "Duck and cover" or "run like hell" seem to me to be appropriate fear responses in our 2nd Amendment obsessed, fear-driven society.  

But we're also learning that, in many ways, this dirty little F-bomb of a word can truly be the death of us.

So the next time you find yourself pacing the floor..maybe you can stop for just a moment, and ask yourself what it is that you fear.  Is it something over which you have no control?  Then perhaps your energy would be better spent on something more constructive than wearing a hole in the carpet.  

And the the next time you're rolling around in the sheets with the fear of that which may never even happen keeping you wide awake...maybe take a moment in the wee small hours of the morning to consider that love--as trite as it may sound--may truly be the answer.

And maybe the next time it seems that life is crashing down around your ears your eyes will be opened to a new reality, and you will see that it was a house of cards all along, and that the only constant in this world God made is the foundational love God has for it...for US...for YOU.

It's all a big risk, of course.  And what you're giving up may be your life.  But who knows?  In giving up your life...you may just find it.

And what's to fear in that?

For you see, in the inevitable end, God has already won--love will never die....and you have nothing at all to fear--not even fear itself.  

Glory, Glory, Glorious...

One of my favorite bike rides takes me up Nichols Canyon Road in Hollywood.  If I get on the road early enough it's mostly mine to enjoy as I wind my way up the canyon, in tune with the bird songs and breezes.

Glorious mornings.

Yet I've often noticed, in that early morning light, that if I try to look too far ahead my glorious morning soon feels more like a dreaded chore.  You see, in some spots along the road I can only see a short distance ahead.  Without knowing what's around the next bend it can feel as if I'm just going to have to keep on pedaling forever!  From other places on that road I can see far ahead to the top of the canyon.  Seeing the high altitude to which I aspire from my lowly vantage can leave me feeling like I'm facing an impossible task.  It's easy to forget that I won't be getting there in a straight line; the road will bend, carrying me upward at a steady, manageable pace.

But isn't that like life?  How often do we feel as if we're on a treadmill because we don't have the vision to see around the bend to what's coming next?  How often do we look so far ahead and lose hope because we forget that life is not a goal to attain, but a journey to be enjoyed--with all it's twists and turns--a glorious adventure?

The next time I feel a bit short or long of vision, I'm going to try to remember Nichols Canyon.  The view from the top may be spectacular--but it pales in comparison to the wonderful adventure of getting there.  

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Wishing you joy for your journey!

What Do You Expect?

It had been a minor selling point, but one that had finally moved me into the "buy" column.  The neighborhood looked great, the condo was in good shape and had a really nice layout and design.  The complex even had a pool.  But the thing that finally helped sell me was the little lemon tree on the back patio.  Lemonade!

I looked forward to being closer to my new work and getting to know a new part of town.  I quickly discovered that from an upstairs window of my new condo I could watch the Disneyland fireworks every night, and it would soon be only a short walk to the new Starbucks under construction on the corner.  And the lemonade....I looked forward to the lemonade!

After a few years, though, it all proved to be a bit of a disappointment.  Oh, the fireworks were always good--but after a while running up the stairs to watch got kind of old.  The Starbucks was typically hot and fresh...but you know, sometimes it's nice to enjoy your morning coffee at home.  The pool that was right across the street turned out to be for the apartments there--our pool was a ten minute walk across a busy highway, and so I never really got in the habit.  And the lemons?  Well, even though I kept that tree nicely trimmed and it produced plenty of fruit each year, those lemons never seemed to be any good--after a while they would turn yellow, but they tasted funny and seemed to go bad before they were any good.

So after several years, when life called in a new direction and the "For Sale" sign went up, I wasn't very sad to go.  It had been a good place to live, but it never quite lived up to my expectations.  

It's a funny thing, though.  As I was packing up to go, that little lemon tree was just loaded with fruit--fruit that I'd learned would never make the lemonade I'd once looked forward to.  When I explained my disappointment to my partner, Ben-Andy, who was busy helping me pack, he took a closer look.

"Limes" he said.  

So there you have it.  For five years I'd hoped for fresh lemons and dreamed of lemonade.  For five years I'd been disappointed because a lime tree hadn't produced the lemons I'd expected, and watched as one beautiful crop of limes after another just rotted on the branches.  For five years I'd insisted on lemonade and never once heard that tree saying "Margaritas!"  

We all go through life with expectations, hopes and dreams.  But I wonder, sometimes, how often we miss the party that's within our grasp because our expectations have blinded us to life's glorious reality.  If life is handing us limes, instead of letting them just rot on the tree, maybe we should wake up and smell the coffee!

"Love," after all "does not insist on its own way."