What are You Building?

How could anyone be naive when it comes to human behavior?  People are capable of doing some pretty rotten things, and we all know it.  Just read the papers, check the internet, watch TV.  For that matter, think about your own life.  You've been the victim of insensitivity more than a few times, right? 

You've been on the giving end of insensitivity, too.  C'mon now, you can admit it.  Haven't you?  Haven't we all?

Today I was reminded of something I learned a long time ago--that putting a positive spin on people's intentions (that is, assuming they mean us well) is a good practice for more than just one good reason.  First, it sets me free from negative thinking.  My day gets so much better when I assume the best rather than expect the worst.  Second, it sets others free, too.  Haven't you noticed that people generally tend to live up to your expectations?  So why, then, would you want to set the bar so low?

Does that mean you won't ever be disappointed?  No.  Does it mean that others always want what's best for you?  No.  But isn't it better to experience a momentary disappointment in an otherwise good day, than to live in constant dread of what someone else might do so that you're never disappointed again?

All of which makes me wonder.  When I walk around bracing myself against things that may or may not ever even happen, when I set a low bar for the behavior of others and assume their insensitivies are aimed directly at me, am I not walling myself off from a better life, as well as depriving others of the opportunity to improve?

So the next time someone cuts me off in traffic or throws some trash on my lawn...the next time someone disregards my feelings or says something nasty to me, even if I know better, I'll assume they meant me no harm and I will wish them well.  Maybe if I assume the good, it will one day become reality.

Likewise I'll hope that the next time I'm careless in word or deed, that those who are the victims of my insensitivity will give me the same benefit of the doubt.  

It's the least I can do.  How about you?

"Put the best construction on everything..."

Wishing you all constructive week!  If you enjoy reading these, please feel free to share them with others!  You'll find this post, as well as past blog posts at www.realacorns.blogspot.com.

(c) 2014, Stephen Fiechter